The Golden Kola

Tradition tells us that the ancient Inca Empire was the richest empire in all of history. The empire was literally built on top of the world's largest gold mine. Gold was as common to those people as dirt is to our people. The common peoples' homes were carved out from mountains of solid gold. Their crystal clear pressured running water flowed freely from pipes of solid gold. It was nothing in that land for someone to own a 500 foot statue carved from 24 karat gold. Their slaves were bound by chains of gold. Their beds were of gold (this was right before mattresses were invented, which then quickly became the most valued item seeing as they all had back aches from sleeping on the hard golden surface). They even tried eating the metal, which didn't last very long. In fact they would try so hard that they would lose teeth in the attempt, and would have to fill the spaces with pieces of it glued in (thus came about the "golden tooth").

But... Although gold seemed to have its handiwork in every piece of material, art, structure, etc, it was still missing in something - something vital to life - and that something was their drink. The only drinks they had discovered so far were various kinds of cervezas, margaritas, and their crystal clear water. They tried mixing their metal with each of these beverages, but without success... Until Coca Cola built a plant in Lima. And the second the king of that vast empire ceremoniously dumped a chunk of the precious metal into this new found beverage, the gold began to dissolve into the soda - giving it a golden color with the flavor of bubble gum. The king took one sip of the newly discovered concoction, did a hula dance which he had learned while vacationing in Hawaii, and then proclaimed to the nation that it would be called the "Inca's Kola" (later shortened to merely "Inca Kola"), and was dubbed from then on the "national beverage".

So, as I now sip the golden kola from my glass, I hope you will delight as you view the following pictures of the richest, most marvelous drink ever to grace the lips of the human race. Here are some of the various forms of storage in which this drink can be contained...

the 12 oz can

the something over 12 oz bottle

the 16 oz glass bottle

the 20 oz plastic bottle

the 2 liter plastic bottle

another 2 liter botella

(spanish for bottle)

the 150 lb homosapien... Cheers!

I recently read a post on another blog concerning a different not-as-good type of beverage. The author mentioned that as a young person her greatest joy (in so many words) and fulfillment was in a can or bottle of a certain "Dr. Pepper" (I shudder as I type that name). She expresses now how much she loathes it. I agree. I loathe all drinks save this one. (not really, but almost)

Allow me to introduce to you the Golden kola - Inca Kola: "not quite as good as Living Water".